< Universal v DDR ^ humor >
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>: 108 minutes of fun
Roxor games
and
Xsoft SSH (Studio of Situational Humour)
presents
DDR / ITG remake
Ali G in DDR house
[ Ali G in DDR house ]
/* Ali G in DDR house */
( Ali G in DDR house )
( Ali G in DDR house );
135 songs
1000 stepcharts
45 courses
Look, the brother of Ole Hoie Petter!
- I haven't seen you jumping much lately... - It ain't true...
- Shut up!
It's time to give you two a beginner lesson.
I wouldn't do that if I was you.
Step back unless you want me to bust a cap in your ass.
This is my hood and these girls belong to me.
"Belong"? That is a very sexist way to talk about these cosplayers.
Bonjour, J'ai ma appeIIe AIi.
Yasu is my personal friend...
You made me use me last tissue.
How am I supposed to clean my pad now?!
- What the hell do you think?
You're playing on Cobalt Flux,
then you buy ITG dedicabs,
and then PIU Pro.
You don't need a tissue for these.
- You what?
Speak to the hand, cos the face, it ain't listening.
Pardon me.
Ooh!
Remember, arcade is the most precious gift
that Jah has given us.
You Fail...
You saved us.
l just really want to thank you.
You've got 7 pedals for Beatmania IIDX
Yes, I'll turn on my asist tick for you.
That's very nice...
Oh, Phortos, no!
Whatever.
Yeah, baby.
Play Wiiiith the balls.
Good dog.
Ali? Are you awake?
For real.
Ali-Pally, do you know how late it is?
You're still in bed, all asleep. - Sorry.
- mDaWg just posted ITG2 R9 release on SOWS...
It has new simfiles from ITG Project ...
Don't you wanna get up and try them ... ?
Isn't staying in bed better?
- I think it is. - Ali, you shouldn't be playing DDR when not standing on a pad...
You're teaching your class today...
Wicked.
Out of bed, choppy chop...
ALI MY BITCH
RE5PEKT
Welcome to OSLO
Respekt.
So, what's going down in Oslo, my niggers?
Nigger, we just be jumpin', singin', para-dancin'...
Flow and Velfarre... noob. - Noob?
Juicy, you're wearing green?
I knew it, you're joining ITG Freak, is that it?
Let's stab him.
Wait!
My mum put my yellow top in the washing machine.
Then she put in my brother's blue ITG socks, too. She didn't know they're not colour-fast...
All right. But you tell her that in the ghetto,
washing non-coloufast synthetics at 60 degrees...
could be fatal...
Will you boys move?
I've told you, that here's a place for unloading arcades
Hey, yo, yo, yo, what's the problem?
Four brothers chilling out,
maxing, relaxing, it ain't too taxing. Rolls!
Move!
We'll sit on the bench. Yes....
ITG Freak.
If it ain't the Czech DDR, outside their precoius centre.
Damn, I should've mentioned something from Konami, not from Roxor.
Anyways, you is on our turf...
Once you pass the Bumble-bee Nursery,
just before the mini-roundabout, there at the kid's playground with the arcade...
Then you is on OUR turf. - We don't care. - Oh, yeah?
Your mama is so fat...
That on the last gathering she didn't even pass Driven course,
people them-a walk by and say,
Look at that hip-hop lamer...
That ain't fair.
It was on intense...
Let's leave these noobs...
Max 30
-Battle mode-
Max 20
Slow down!
Beware, new speed mod.
Stop...
Stop & GO! nOObz. Round failed^2
Fucking freaks, they're gona get themselves killed!
Yo, yo, it's the LAPD.
Yeah? And?
Oh, you're my man...
l is feeling it. You rocking it?
l'm feeling it.
l'm checking it.
l'm feeling it.
l'm checking it.
l'm kissing it.
l'm checking it.
Right.
Wait. l is gonna be late for me class. Let's go...
DWI, FFR and PyDance are destroying our community.
So when a brother decides to install something else, he deserves our respect...
So let's big it up for Darren,
He's playing on the only right simulator Stepmania 3.9...
Erm, 4.00 CVS... - Whatever.
Me don't wanna say this but...
most of you ain't never gonna play 11-footers.
Puck
3DDX
Fascination MaxX...
Look, he's crying. Homo! Homo!
We'll have none of that language here.
The word is nOOb. - nOOb, nOOb.
Better.
Everybody up!
Time to give out this week's badges.
First, big it up for me main man
Nekura who has finally got another QoL badge.
And also a badge for building a pad.
Try the flamingo mod on it.
Respect.
Since you has got your fifth badge,
you has earned your second slit.
Hopefully one day you'll get to be Rubb's level.
Rubbinnexx, if you continue like this, you'll get the songs from ITG3..
I don't have any. - Well, I have got millions.
Now, remember - without music, we is nothing.
So, posse, keep it real!
Keep it real!
On the streets you have to know, where in your vicinity
is the nearest arcade, or Czech DDR member.
So let's start with a very basic trust exercise.
One, two, three.
Ali, can l have a word?
Sure.
It's about the centre.
l know how much these classes mean to you...
and how much the kids enjoy them...
- poor boy got roXored :) -
But the government's withdrawn our funding.
They're closing down our whole arcade centre.
WTF?
How is these kids meant to get to DDR/ITG now?
They'll have to go somewhere else.
Somewhere else? Do you know what this centre means to them?
And to me...
This is the spiritual possesion of all Czech DDR players.
Something like boxor for Lil Q.
Like dongle for GRIM...
And it's here where I have first hear Kyle Ward's music.
Ali, there's nothing you can do...
Now, you better go and tell the kids.
l ain't never gonna let them close us down.
Keep it real, yeah?
Prime minister from Seattle - briefing in 30 minutes...
'And the Deputy Prime Minister wishes to speak to you.'
Do you have the poll results yet?
Sorry.
I wish I hadn't.
He loses 22 points.
And Marrice? - 23 points.
The youth vote's deserting us in droves.
All those your people are gone.
I mean our people, you know I am...
Don't be silly. - Will we lose this by-election?
We haven't lost Oslo in 20 years
and we're not about to start
We just have an image problem.
We have to find a candidate who will improve that image.
Somebody young.
Someobody original.
Somebody ethnic.
- Exactly. - You're right, Myst .
We need someone special.
Someone who can do the 15-footers.
Somebody who has the precision in his ear.
- ls me Julie about? - She's upstairs.
Hello, baby, l's been missing you so much today.
You is looking so fine.... All I want to do is launch Paranoia Survivor Max and...
AIi!
Hello, me Julie.
Stop seducing Piggy and come here.
l got confused.
You're never confused with Laumma.
Hello, Ali.
Hello. You know you is me only bitch.
When me close me eyes, you is the only girl me think about.
Ali, open your eyes.
Sorry, there was something in them.
Because there's these fleas going around,
two of them, coming in again
and they're in me eyes!
You've been a very bad boy and you need to be punished.
Are you a bad boy?
Yes, l am.
My pad is so dry.
So for being a bad boy, l want you to rub oil onto it,
Paying special attention to the UP and DOWN arrows.
OK, l will do that.
But first, l want you to take your hat off.
You naughty boy.
But me never take me hat off.
You take that off and l'll clear Pandemonium here.
Ok.
Now l'm going to milk you.
AIi.
Give me one more sec.
Behave, Alistair.
J. Lo, they is closing down the arcade centre.
l is gonna go on hunger strike until they save it...or until l die...
If I die, I'll join Chris in the Stepmania heaven.
So, that's why I came here to play one last time.
I think Thomas Banga would like to add something maybe...
Can you beat Sakura?
I got no problem with that. You do?
AIi...
Don't do nothing stupid, all right?
Hear me now. She ain't really me Julie.
ln real life l is going out with someone much fitter.
But they do that to make me more accessible.
which means you girls which want to stomp with me... I play on reverse too.
OK, you got ten seconds till you start.
OK, and go.
Mr G, why are you on hunger strike?
ln the struggle for justice.
l is willing to lay down me life.
Just like Kasu and K-Dog did.
This is the local party chairman. Colin Barker.
He has some names for the by-election.
This is a great honour. l've always admired...
My nicnkname is Myst. - Right.
There are three really outstanding candidates that match your criteria.
Top of the list is LilQ.
3 years of exprience, player of ITG1, ITG2 He was at NAT05. Gained 4 stars.
Have you tried these new chicken dippers?
They're really good.
Oh yeah, they're awesome.
What sauce are you going for?
l think it's barbecue.
l can't take it!
Chicken dippers!
Good, we can go home now.
Oh, nips. l'll get the keys, yeah?
Starting again from...now!
No.
What has we got here, then?
l was doing a serious protest.
ln that case, we'll leave you to it.
Oh, thanks.
With an additional mode, though.
Grow, Biggie, grow.
Queen of Light, Queen of Light!
Queen of Light on reverse with modes beat, add mine and boomerang!
Look here now! Look at my massive beast!
Look what mode - beat does!
You ITG freak!
Oh, God. This bar is really dirty...
lt's going to need a lot of polishing.
Pandemonium 99.83%. VerTex^2 100% Peak combo 34 000.
Rodent, is there any reason why an absurdly dressed, half-naked man
chained to a fence, shouldn't clear Butterfly on easy?
lgnore him. lt's the local idiot making some pathetic protest.
Unchain him and bring him in here.
- But l'm trying to... - Bring him in, beaver.
Straight ahead at the top of the stairs.
l'm Charlene Sr., the Deputy Prime Minister's secretary.
Come in and you can pull your pants up now.
Hello, l'm Myst from DDRUK, the Deputy Prime Minister.
Hello. l is Ali G, and I dominate in I.T.G.
I can do Vertex^2 and Bumble Bee...
And the number of never released ITG... - Three.
I don't score on A, not on B, not on C, not on D, not on...
E, not on...
F, but on.. - G
Bo! Your rhymes is tight for a monkey, yes, sir.
That's his full name and address.
Tell me, Ali, do you have a job?
l is recently gone on the dole.
When?
Eight years and three months ago.
lt says here you claim disability.
Yes, l is actually spasticated.
A terrible injury on IIDX...
I ain't got full mobility in me mixing finger.
Everything down there is still working. Oh, yes. Yes.
Ali, erm...would you sit down? Please, sit down.
Would you ever become a member of parliament?
What for? lt's full of freaks...
That's a little harsh. I'm a member too, am I a freak?
Yes.
Let's try a different angle.
ls there nothing you'd like to change?
Me'd wanna save the arcade centre.
Obviusly...
As the MP for Oslo, you could achieve that.
Would you stand in this by-election?
Me gotta be honest. Me ain't actually interested.
I mean, I played para with two girls.
I seen it on the internet, but it didn't look that good.
When I'm playin' para with a man, and on the top of it that noob isn't good at it.
A lot of people say never say never
But even though I feel strong, standing at the Para Para arcade...
I'll never step onto it.
Do you understand me? -Yes.
Well, it's been a pleasure meeting you.
Myst...
Later, sweetheart.
-showing off with reverse, left, right, random- -and no mines-
Myst, what are you doing?
He was the biggest idiot l have ever met. Choose him...
and we'll never win... - I know.
There'll be a leadership crisis, noone will trust them
nOOb, nOOb, nOOb xD
The PM will be out.
And who could possibly replace him?
Ali has two weeks to lose us 18,000 votes.
Let's get him on the campaign trail.
Easy, rude boy. Me name be Ali G and me is here representing Oslo.
Can me count on your vote?
- Definitely not.
Doesn't matter, nOOb.
Seeing as l is here,
could me interest you in an anti-slip powder for CF?
Jenda, it's your turn with the letterbox.
Our anti-fat programme has won lots of praise.
It sufficed to put ITG for PE class in all schools.
This is AdamStyle's brother, that can't clear even 1234 007 on easy.
l ain't surprised. Look at him.
Hey, fatty bum bum. Hey, fatty bum bum.
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 0 0 7.
Hey! Want another How to play?
He is well fat, isn't he?
Ike Ike - I'm Ali G ...
Ike Ike - I have new arcades for you.
Ike Ike - Magic dance
and no Butterfly ...
Yeah, yeah!
WE WANT SONGS LIKE BUTTERFLY
No worries. I'll send for ZiGZaG
And he'll show you
that even harder, harder things can be cleared...
..like Butterfly on standard.
Don't worry. He'll make it.
Ladies and gentlemen, to commemorate the town hall extension,
we're asking all the candidates
to show some mode.
Ali, could you teach us some?
- Me? - We would be honoured. - ln front of everyone?
Yes.
Xuxa step with Accel, Deccel and Beat.
This is absolutely vital.
10 days ago we were 14 points ahead,
with one day to go we are eight points behind.
Listen. Did you get the manifesto that l sent to you?
Out of paper... - Really?
- Out of paper. - For real? - Wicked.
Yes. lt was very helpful.
30 seconds till we're on air.
Come with me.
Good luck.
Don't hold back.
ln the most crucial by-election of the past decade,
we're joined by ex-Environment Secretary Glenn Maynard
and newcomer Ali G.
This debate will help you
make up your mind.
Ali, if elected, what would you do for Oslo?
Me'd save the Arcade centre.
You can't mean your sole policy is to save a centre
that has so few songs... and is a terrible drain on our funds?
What are your other policies?
My other policies?
Yes, you must have some.
l think it is well important to increase diffee-cull-tees.
and also to invest in the speeding up of nurses.
nurses or NHS (Normal-Highspeed-Settings)
You're reading from my sheet.
No, l ain't. l is thought of them things myself.
You copied from me!
lt wasn't me.
Then perhaps you'd tell me how stands the EMS?
No problem.
It still can connect two pads at once.
And to be honest, I'm not much into other adapters
The voters of Oslo deserve better.
You're making a mockery of this debate.
What? ls you looking in the mirror?
What you're doing gives the voters an obvious signal
about how big a nOOb you are.
Talking about yourself again?
You are an embarrassment to the people of Oslo.
That is not a nice way to talk about your mum.
l put it to you that you are the worst possible candidate
ever put forward by your miserable party.
Well, l put it to you...
that you sucked off a horse.
l did not, er...suck off a horse.
l have already dealt with this issue with the party chairman
and as l explained to him, l was out hunting with a friend
and l slipped onto the end of a horse's phallus,
which, unfortunately, owing to it being the mating season...
Why is he going?
Does he need to go and do a pony?
Tell you what, they ought to read the gallop polls tomorrow!
More drama with the unexpected withdrawal of Glenn Maynard.
Tomorrow's vote is now between
Damien and Ali G...
'with the result too close to call.'
Damien Roxorboxu, Liberal Democrat, 5,080 votes.
Alistair Leslie Gramham. - Who?
What a stupid name.
5,086 votes.
You won! You did it!
Ali G has been duly elected as Member of Parliament
for Oslo.
Do you want to see the new Member of Parliament, aight?
Look how l is touching meself.
Do you like that?
ls that turning you on?
Not really.
Give a kiss to Mr Gherkin.
You're so long and hard!
That's a hold arrow.
Now, let's get jiggy.
Didn't you hear Xuxa?
Hi. Respect, respect... How's it goin'?
l know you. You was the man that cleared Faxx, right?
Respekt.
Because this government... Order! Order!
This government's conduct of economic policy...
They is dissin' our posse. l is gonna sort this.
Does someone have the printed stepcharts here... ?
What is he doing?
l'm not sure, Prime Minister.
No one will tell me to calm down. - shhhhh.
Relax talkie.
Look at yourself.
The only thing you are doing whole day is stepping on each other's pad.
RESTEP. Do you know what I've just spelled?
Restep?
Yeah. Re-step.
How long can people re-step one song,
when you even dind't start.
Then share re-step to each other.
Can we put them in StepMix contest?
Do you know how to make our country better?
It's easy, two words...
In
In the
In the Groove!
That's three words.
Don't be spanner. 'the' ain't any real word.
It's just a prolonged 'da'
In the Groove...
The representative of Oslo will be taken out of the building.
Is it because I am a expert?
What the hell did you do to me?
Re-step?
I want this idiot immediately at my office in the morning - with his resignation.
- Is it clear? - Yes, minister.
Enter.
Listen. I know, it wasn't right.
AIi, didn't you read the news?
I can't believe that!
They are writting about a dog, who can play DDR!
AIi, journalists love you.
But HOW can he press the hold arrow?
AIi, Deputy Prime Minister and me were wondering...
what if l asked you to join the Cabinet?
No, think about it. Ali joins the Cabinet...
the two of them are publicly aligned.
Ali slips up, he takes that old prat with him.
Why would Ali join?
l've told the Prime Minister
to offer to save his arcade centre.
Are you mad? That would...
Let me finish.
Offers to save his arcade centre, If Ali gets him ITG3
from Chris.
Now l is in the Cabinet and all, could l see the red button?
Can l trust you?
- Yes. - All right. Here we are.
One touch on that red button could erase the whole hi-score on all of the arcades.
That is very interesting because...
No! No! AIi please, stand away.
Can't we erase something?
Of course not.
Please? - No.
Something shitty like Crap-O-Cabs. - Ali
I heard that there aren three sensors not working and da music isn't playin'.
I took their keys from the music!
Should't you give them back?
Your first Cabinet meeting is Thursday.
It's about asylum seekers.
I'm sending you on a fact-finding mission.
If someone will try to smuggle songs to DDR UK,
He'll have to go through there...
They even smuggle bg videos.
Look at this crap.
You'll be terrified.
Look at the mess.
30 Cobalt fluxes from the Eurocup.
With cheated supertiming.
That is terrible.
Is there any skunk?
Yes. In one of those CF was 21 kilos of this.
Super skunk ever discovered.
Over here are the confiscated weapons and this is where we keep...
You must have such a laugh here.
No, we don't.
Next we have mountains of...
the hardest songs on DDR, mostly by Xsoft ;).
You don't want to see this...
No! It's my job...
I know. I'm sick od those 127-feet.
Alright, I'm starting with the report,
so if you'd fuck off.
Certainly, sir.
Westminster will be sending down expert-players to help with me research.
Hello. We are the expert-players.
Ali, tell us, what did you find out in Dover?
Me saw a lot of stuff, most of it by Xsoft ;).
Most of these songs will kill the CPU ..
He's right.
By Xsoft, I experienced it myself.
Respect.
There were these two huge African men,
Who managed to get 2 percent, and then their hands fell off...
How long have they been trying?
15 hours.
Without a stop. It was incredibly emotional.
That had to hurt...
Sure it hurts.
Sorry.
So Bacon, what are we going to do with those asylum seekers ?
We can't let them all in.
It would cripple the economy.
Yes Ali?
Let's think about this, yes?
What's the main thing we ain't got enough of in the UK?
Hospitals?
No.
Libraries?
We ain't got enough fit women. And we've got too many nOObs.
(at the arcades)
So we let in all the fit refugees and turn away the rank ones?
Then we solve both problems.
At least our freestyle would look better.
That's ridiculous.
Whatd'ya think?
I think...we should In The Groove...
Fit.
K.
Wait.
Back to Slovenia.
Education standards are at their lowest for 15 years.
That is because kids is learning stuff that ain't no use to them.
Who here has ever used maths?
Or English?
Exactly.
Let's start making education relevant.
If Kevin buys six arcades ITG2 with revision R21 from
Positive Gaming, for 100000 dollars cash in hand
On the average of six customers an hour...
How much does he have to charge for the credit and what judge does he have to set,
to earn 100 dollars an hour and still letting discount for Czech DDR and Vierpfeile.de?
The situation in Northern lreland is spiralling
out of control.
The only way you is ever gonna get Hindus to stop killing lslams...
- In fact they are Catholics. - Is to strike the Protestants.
All right then.
..is to get some really fit woman to get her boobies out for peace.
- Prime Minister... - Not you, love.
The army is costing the British taxpayer $4.2 billion a year.
How will the government reduce this figure?
We are gonna hire the A-Team.
Her Majesty the Queen.
Your Majesty, may I introduce Ali G, the representative of parliament for Oslo?
Hello, cheeky.
You are much fitter than you look on them coins.
Next time I put a 50p piece in me pocket...
I will feel honoured having you used for coin-line..
Nothing's working...
Judge is on the highest level.
The UK has a special relationship with the US...
Do you like Bush?
Bush is lame.
I wanna say, he didn't even send ITG for PS2, when I was ill...
Would you do a dance for me, please?
Oh, my God.
That was "Do you mine"! Respect!
...As Ali G's influence grows...
...The Queen says he's a breath of fresh air....
...Ali G mania sweeps the UK....
BUDGET
At 12 o'clock,
all of the arcades will be set on freeplay.
To discourage their use, other times it will be 0.25 euro for one credit.
And we'll turn off the menu timer.
And the health service.
marijuana will be made available free on the NHS
for the treatment of chronic diseases.
Such as itchy scrot.
Furthermore...
I am a fucking nOOb and...
Prime minister, I'd like to, with all my respect... - Go on.
fail butterfly on easy. Really. It will make me fell better.
That's my favourite.
I was a girl, wore a manga dress, and visited Kyle Ward.
Honest, ask my mum!
War looms in Central Africa.
Britain to host a peace conference....
A triumphant budget from Britain's most controversial MP...
It doesn't mean, that when you bought this fantastic dress, you'll be neglecting me for 3 months.
I know.
I've never been on anything like this before,
So don't leave me alone tonigt. Clear?
Don't worry, baby.
It's the Prime Minister! I saw him on TC.
let me get his autograph.
Boss, this is my Julie.
President Wattana from Thailand.
It is an honour to meet you.
Thai, aight? Present.
Xuxa-egg...
AIi, Let's move along.
This is the Mongolian delegate.
Are you a genuine mong?
That is fantastic that you lot is also being represented here.
l will...go and get you... some nice...crayons.
Shall we carry on?
This is Borat from Kazakhstan.
Bless you.
It is nice to meet you.
Get off, you n00b!
Ali, Ali...
...you are a nooooob...
Bonjour.
Canape, sir?
My Julie.
Julie.
Hello?
What you doing up here?
Why didn't you stay downstairs with that posh girl?
We was talking about politics.
I ain't interested, just shut up!
Really! Well, I won't speak no more.
You really are a prat.
Now, come here.
We can't. This is the PM's bedroom.
Well...
Why don't you pretend to be the Prime Minister?
Hentai x3.
Ladies and gentlemen, please...
in advance of tomorrow's summit,
I shall be having private talks with both parties.
First, President Mwepu,
Would you care to join me upstairs? - A pleasure.
Thank you.
I must say, l enjoyed that.
So did l.
l'm so glad we cleared PSMO.
Ladies and gentlemen,I want everyone here to know,that President Mwepu here is a very big man.
And l would like you to know that the Prime Minister...
was very hard.
But very straight. - Thank you.
The president wanted 9-feet from the beginning.
and I gotta tell you, he got even further.
Yes, So Deep.
Well, he slipped once or twice...
I'm glad, that I can tell you, that we've done all the songs without a sweat.
Yes, I liked all the songs you downloaded.
Now President Oompeba, would you care to join me upstairs?
No bloody way.
Can l come?
Come on, honey, let's go home.
I'll cook you up your favourite.
Angel Delight?
Yeah, bloodrush.
Mmmm. Bloodrush.
This bit is for the girls, to show that I can be well sensitive.
By the way, if any of you bitches is fit and into doggy...
here is my mobile number. ( 778 - Vodafone)
Callers must be over 16.
But not by too much...
I can't.
They need me at the peace conference tomorrow.
You what?
What about the people who really need you?
What about Foy?
What about Kyle?
What about me, AIi?
Please come back to Oslo.
The world is bigger than Oslo.
And I gotta save it.
You'll have to do it on your own, then.
Julie? Julie?
The goverment raised the votes. He leads by 18 points...
We've gotta get rid of him before the arcade centre's saved.
- What? l thought... - You thought?!
The US will do everything in its power
to support Chad in its struggle against its neighbours.
Russia will not allow this Western oppression to continue
and, in order to support the ITG-Hacking-Community,
is prepared to crack all ITG HDD all over the world.
Ali, Ali, Ali!
Ammegon's breaking out, help.
Sure, bro.
The United States will not be intimidated.
We will meet any show of force with our full hacking might!
You know why they is shouting?
They ain't been fed their teas.
Come on, choppy chop.
(look who is on the right of the US)
In the name of all those who are in favour of sending lran to the gas station
to get some DDR/ITG and chocolate.
Raise your hand.
Damn.
l'm sorry we invaded you. lt was really uncool.
Who cares? lt's all in the past.
If I was going to be invaded by anyone,
I am happy it was you.
You are really cool. You have nice clothes.
You saved my white ass, Ali.
No problem, bredrin. Big up the herbal tea, aight?
Hey, you, Britain!
Respect. Quad Star.
How does he do it?
We're quite a team, Ali.
Thanks to you we're 22 points ahead.
l'm gonna save your arcade centre.
Wicked! Bo! Bo! Bo!
Check out all the Peperami!
They're here because of you.
For you - this is your moment.
Will you comment on accusations that you drugged the world leaders?
What the?!?
Our evidence proves you're guilty.
"Our evidence proves you're guilty.."
This is just childish.
"This is just childish."
By employing this rhetorical tactic you incriminate yourself further.
"By...tactic...your father."
This bag was sent to my office anonymously.
Do you deny that you stole it from Customs & Excise?
That could be anyone's.
What does it have to do with me...
Ali's stuff, DO NOT STEAL!
Gotta go.
I am actually touching cloth.
AIi! Ali!
There goes your arcade centre.
Clear your desk before you go.
Prime Minister.
We'll miss you Ali.
I wish you more Extra stages.
We'll miss you Mr G. - Respect.
Better hold arrows.
Yasu.
Up town girl >
Bad day?
Maybe I can help.
ls it nippy outside?
Very.
What is you doing here?
Let me show you.
So today's main news again.
The Prime Minister has resigned after the discovery of security tape
showing him having perverse sexual intercourse
with a prostitute.
That's no prostitute, that's my girl!
at 11 o'clock, the Deputy Prime Minister Myst
will be the acting Prime Minister.
That ain't fair, that weren't the PM.
Where's the rest of the tape?
My boss has locked it in a safe near 8 on the break,
In his residence, where he's staying now...
You won't get outta this.
If you can keep your mouth shut,
Myst will be grateful.
Even I'll want to be grateful.
All you must do is keep your mouth shut.
I'm tuning up my engine, Ali.
Fill me with petrol!
l is gonna pump you with me five-star unleaded, aight!
Let me see your nozzle.
What?
You wanna see me knob?
All right
Full load please.
'ln tomorrow's phone-in, we ask,
'have you ever slept with a pig? l certainly have.'
And we'll find out what turns girls like this into slags.'
No one calls me Julie a slag.
Come to mama.
Take them off.
#TITLE:Superstar
#ARTIST:Jamelia
#MP3:Jamelia - Superstar.mp3
#BPM:110
#GAP:50
-
->
-> P
-> Pe
-> Peo
-> Peop
-> Peopl
-> People
-> People a
-> People al
-> People alw
-> People alwa
-> People alway
-> People always
-> People always t
-> People always ta
-> People always tal
-> People always talk
-> People always talk a
-> People always talk ab
-> People always talk abo
-> People always talk abou
-> People always talk about
-> People always talk about.
_.,;:________________ [heee-yooo heyoo heyoo]
______.,;:___________ [heee-yooo heyoo heyoo]
___________.,;:______ [heee-yooo heyoo heyoo]
________________.,;__ [heee-yooo heyoo heyoo]
-
->
-> A
-> Al
-> All
-> All t
-> All th
-> All the
-> All the t
-> All the th
-> All the thi
-> All the thin
-> All the things
-> All the things t
-> All the things the
-> All the things they
-> All the things they'
-> All the things they'r
-> All the things they're
-> All the things they're a
-> All the things they're al
-> All the things they're all
-> All the things they're all a
-> All the things they're all ab
-> All the things they're all abo
-> All the things they're all about
-> All the things they're all about.
_.,;:________________ [heee-yooo heyoo heyoo]
______.,;:___________ [heee-yooo heyoo heyoo]
___________.,;:______ [heee-yooo heyoo heyoo]
________________.,;__ [heee-yooo heyoo heyoo]
-
->
-> W
-> Wr
-> Wri
-> Writ
-> Write
-> Write i
-> Write it
-> Write it o
-> Write it on
-> Write it on a
-> Write it on a p
-> Write it on a pi
-> Write it on a pie
-> Write it on a piec
-> Write it on a piece
-> Write it on a piece o
-> Write it on a piece of
-> Write it on a piece of p
-> Write it on a piece of pa
-> Write it on a piece of pap
-> Write it on a piece of pape
-> Write it on a piece of paper
-> Write it on a piece of paper.
-
->
-> G
-> Go
-> Got
-> Got a
-> Got a f
-> Got a fe
-> Got a fel
-> Got a fell
-> Got a felli
-> Got a fellin
-> Got a felling
-> Got a felling I
-> Got a felling I'
-> Got a felling I'l
-> Got a felling I'll
-> Got a felling I'll s
-> Got a felling I'll se
-> Got a felling I'll se y
-> Got a felling I'll se yo
-> Got a felling I'll se you
-> Got a felling I'll se you l
-> Got a felling I'll se you la
-> Got a felling I'll se you lat
-> Got a felling I'll se you late
-> Got a felling I'll se you later
-> Got a felling I'll se you later.
This ain't right. Here...
Set it to bumpy and finish yourself off.
Open up! Yo, blood, l need your help.
Everyone's calling me Julie a slag.
They heard about our three-header?
What three-header?
Ale nic. Anyways, l can prove she ain't.
Bredrin, we gotta restart Drive-By SM. What ya say?
Drive-By SM is back!
This is Drive-By SM!
the sound of the ghetto, from deep of the gangster's heart.
What was that?
Insomnia.
Hear me now, gangstas. There is some serious shit going down.
The Prime Minister, check it,
has been chucked out by a dude
who is an incredible noob (that rhymes, yo ^_^)
He is devilishhh! He is even better
than DukAmok!!
o.O
To get the Prime Minister back in,
me needs to get hold of this tape of me knobbing me bitch.
lf you help me rescue this video, we can save the country.
Plus you will see Julie's dedicab!
Wicked!
That is why l is calling all of you to end this StepMix contest.
There has been enough brothers slain.
So put down your slowdowns,
lay down your mines,
and unite into one massive... massive.
DDR UK
VierPfeile.de
[_________] <>
[_______o_] <>
[___g___o_] <>
[___g_e_o_] <>
[_l_g_e_o_] <>
[_lag_e_o_] <>
[_lag_e_ox] <>
[_lague_ox] <->
[Plague_ox] <-->
[Plaguefox] <---->
[Plaguefox]
And me never thought me would ever say this...
but big up the...
IT
ITG
ITG Freak
Ali, what you doing, man?
Even though you are llamazz..
lf you join us, then l is prepared to hand over
on ITG2 arcade with R21
And I left you customize song options turned on...
Here it is, here it is! lf you is joining
this military operation, meet up in camouflage
and combat equipped! Meeting point is the Arcade centre of sherl0ck,
nine tomorrow morning.
That's a bit early. Can we make it 12?
Sorry l is late.
But there was something on the telly about Dancing-monkeys.
It was real funneh...
Respect for wearing camouflage.
lt will help you go undetected.
Now, let's go to Konami and rescue that tape.
Let's do it for Stepmania.
Let's do this for me Julie's Dedicabs.
And let's do this for ITG!
Select - Start!
Now listen. l has drawn up a detailed plan of Chequers.
The tape is in the PM's office, in a safe.
First up, Foy, Kyle and me will go in.
WinDue, you stay here.
We's gonna be like the A-Team.
And I is B. A. Baraccas!
Ni, I wanna be B. A. Baraccas!
But l is very much like him. "I ain't gettin' of the arcade!"
- "I ain't gettin' of the arcade!" - What?
"I ain't gettin' of the arcade!"
- That's James Brown!
You'll be Anubis. And Kyle, you'll be Zodiac.
What do we do?
Stay here and we all hide
and blend into the natural habitat.
Then, when it gets dark, me will make the secret signal.
Then tune all your radios
to the best music by Kyle Ward and crank up the volume to the maxX.
This will bring out the guards
and at that point we will use our cunning to overpower them.
- Sir? - What's going on?
l'm sure it's nothing but l've sent some men out.
l want MaxXUnlimited security. Patrol the house.
The Great Hall is exactly like the arena in Zelda Twilight Princess.
You understand? Like on Nintendo Wiiiii.
So, Kyle, you'll run through the Hyrule field, then down around the Epona
and you'll stay at the save point. And there you'll camp...
lf that don't work, we must somehow find the way
over the reverse-rolls floor.
If we miss a rolls, we're dead!
| >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>| |<<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< |
|> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>| |<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <|
|>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >| |< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<|
|>>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> | | <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<<|
| >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> | | <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< |
| >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>| |<<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< |
|> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>| |<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <|
|>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >| |< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<|
|>>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> | | <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<<|
| >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> | | <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< |
| >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>| |<<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< |
|> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>| |<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <|
|>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >| |< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<|
|>>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> | | <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<<|
| >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> | | <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< |
| >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>| |<<< <<< <<< <<< <<< <<< |
==|>>> >>> >>> >>> >>> |== ==| <<< <<< <<< <<< <<<|==
=====| >>> >>> >>> >>|===== =====|<< <<< <<< <<< |=====
========| >>> >>> |======== ========| <<< <<< |========
===========|>> >|=========== ===========|< <|===========
=============||============= =============||=============
------------------------|------------------------ ------------------------|------------------------
Nothing. We'll keep on looking.
Next up, we is gotta go through the laser room.
Kyle, you'll use your special skills to help us through..
Remember, if we break any beams
it will set the alarms off, so extra careful.
Now, let's do it.
This must be the PM's office.
The tape is in there.
lntruders in my office. This is a terrorist attack.
Shoot on sight! Repeat, shoot on sight!
- Ah, safe. - Yeah, safe, man. - No, the safe.
- Yeah, l is safe. Open that. - Ali, this safe. - Yeah, l is feeling fine.
- The safe, the safe. - Yeah, man, l is safe! - Behind you!
Hold on. l thought you couldn't speak.
l've just always been terribly embarrassed about my voice...
All right, don't go on about it.
Stop giving it all that...
Now, if me can just interrupt your life story for one second...
No.. I got it..
let's tie these geezers up and get that safe open.
No and no. Wait. l got it. Link up the batteries of all the cars outside,
transfer the current through a human chain
and blow the safe open!
Won't we get electricalocuted?
We'll fry the batteries, but we won't get fried if the chain won't be broken,
cos we all wear rubber-soled sport boots for the arcade, right?
Trust me, l got a D in physics.
Wicked. l'll text them.
mk cr b82rez 2g4
No, b-eight-two-rez - be-attories, batteries.
2-geh-4 - together...
Me was trying to save time.
n00b.
Switch on the engine, pass it on.
Your voice! Switch on the engine, pass it on.
Oh my god, they screwed up TLOM.
What?
Should l turn the engine on?
Yeah.
- Peace, man. - Peace.
ITG FREAK CZECH DDR
- The tape ain't here. - What you talkin' 'bout?
Look for yourself.
It's just some photographs...
And...
A map of Oslo.
Jah Ras Tafari, Haile Selassie. They is extending Airport.
That means... they is gonna destroy Oslo.
And they is starting in... three hours.
Two hours, 57 minutes, to be precise.
Why build it over Oslo?
Because l have bought 600 acres of land there. Give me those.
Don't try escaping because this room doubles as a nuclear bunker.
lt is completely impenetrable to the outside world.
And l've forgotten to put on the food supply.
Why don't you nip out now and stick it on?
You really are unbelievably stupid.
Oi! Knob-end!
- What? - Give me them plans.
- Or what? - Or nipple cripple, that's what.
Chinese burn!
You hurt my nose, you fucking nutcase.
I know it's not funny, but you should look behind you,
because there is about 1000 hentai girls...
Look, behind you! There's one in a neko costume!
What? You wanna see a Para Para dance?
And look, she even hes a tail, a bell, ears and nails..
Look, there's Ole Hoie Petter himself...
And he wants to pay us the tournament prizes...
and sponsorship... That's...
ls you gonna hit me again?
Now l'm going to shoot you.
This is from the people of Oslo.
Ooh. l think l followed through.
Me Julie, you there?
Me know what you must think of me.
I was like ITG Freak member.
l been a piece of knob cheese but me got to save Oslo with your help
...and l has shat meself...
Shit.! Foyboy and KaW.
WTF? O_o
We thought if we was gonna die we might as well give it a go.
Well, what's it like?
lt's not bad.
Kyle? Quite nice, actually.
We'll talk about this later.
Now, we gotta save Oslo.
Two minutes, see you in the car... Be quick.
The Feds is coming and you don't want to finish up inside.
I wouldn't do that if I was you...
AIi! I love you!
JuIie!
Hello.
Ignore him. Start the demolition.
Wait! Don't listen to him!
He's a criminal. And not even the good kind
that sell drugs or do drive-bys...
l is got proof here that he is trying to destroy Oslo.
So what? lt's a shithole.
- Arrest them. - Oh, shit
We is going to jail.
Every day for the next 20 years we'll get bummed in the showers...
Hold it. Release him.
Under what authority?
l'm the acting Prime Minister.
You are the disgraced one.
Disgraced by you.
And this tape proves it.
Charlene Sr. - No, Myst.
When l first entered politics,
it was to create a better world,
a world of honesty, truth and accuracy.
But somewhere along the way, I lost that little paper with arcade timing...
Not even in a dream can I remember where it is. But I started searching on the internet...
and I found...
Boring!
Arrest them.
Enjoy your life with this nOOb.
You two deserve each other.
Piss off.
We're not going to build Terminal 5 over Oslo.
- We'll demolish Slough instead. - Wicked!
As of now l need a new Deputy Prime Minister.
How do you feel about being my right-hand man?
Right-hand man! Batty boy, batty boy!
- What do you say, Ali? - l has shown you the way.
You'll have to carry on the journey by yourself now.
As for me, l is gonna stick with me posse
and me bi... me lady.
THE END
Ahem. Actually, there is one thing you could do for me.
British Embassy Jamaica
Mr Ambassador.
Your crop is ready for inspection.
Fantastic! (perfectly timed ;) )
Good morning, Ambassador.
Ambassador, will you try the harvest?
This is good shit.
The man from Oslo, he say yeah!
lce, please.
- Ali, this is a great Jacuzzi. - That ain't a Jacuzzi.
Sorry.
-freestyle-
-Drummania-
Bring her in.
Dance for me, bitch!
This is how we do it...
Me Julie, me got something to ask you.
Will you make me the happiest man in the world?
Yeah, l will.
Let me play Zodiac with her!
THE REAL END
So, what did you think of the film?
lt weren't bad, was it?
lt was easily better than Harry Potter,
which me thought was very childish.
lf you is watching this, Potter, l is better than you.
You probably ain't even slept with a girl.
l has slept with three. And l got one of them to play with herself.
Whatever you thought of this film, please tell your mates it was wicked
cos if this flops, me won't be able to get me nan a new CF.
So the choice is yours. No pressure...
Nan, come tell them you play DDR too... What? You is fallen over again?
What? You don't know how to start the song again?
Don't cry there, all mashed up, a lump of bones! Press START!
Me will get you the cash to make it better, somehow...
Don't be selfish. Join us in Czech DDR and all.
//Czech DDR
Xsoft
http://ddr.pocitac.com
http://ddrforum.pocitac.com
http://dance.pocitac.com
http://czech-ddr.info
http://www.stepmania.com
http://www.google.com
... and so(ws) on ...